I’ll Tell You

i hate it when you have to leave–cause waking up to you in the morning is the best way to say hello to the day. I know I make mistakes, I often point them out when I do. But if I recognize a mistake, why can I not fix it? Instead, I repeat myself, regretting every rotation . I seem to be stuck in a perpetual loop of dissatisfaction with myself. And I don’t want you to get caught up in my whirlwind. I care to much about you. I still have miles and miles and miles on my path to enlightenment. I hope you will share the journey with me. You don’t know how deeply you have affected me. I came from such a different place than where I am now. I’ve grown to know true passion, and how sensitive it makes you mentally– I used to be stone. Feelings–those were so mysterious to me. And my some of my old tendencies leach into us, but I don’t mean for them to. I’m trying so hard to become more thoughtful, more understanding, for myself, and in turn for the ones I love. I do not want to die unhappy. I try my best. Sometimes what I think is my best is really only half of it. But I’m still learning, still growing and getting stronger. I want to make life better for others. At times I do not show that that is true about myself. But deep inside my heart I am certain–that I want to make this world better. And nobody has to believe that. As long as I know it for myself. But what you must believe in is my love that has grown into a jungle, mysterious and deep. And you must believe, no–you must know that at the center of all that life is you. You who have awakened in me all the dormant sparks of rapture and affection. You who have introduced me to a world not so sharp and bleak. You who have been the sweetness, when all I had in me was bitter. I love you.

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